


Hope

by soldiermom1973



Series: 1,000 years (A Reconciliation Story) [16]
Category: Mass Effect (Comics), Mass Effect - All Media Types, Mass Effect - Various Authors, Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Hope, Hospital, Mass Effect 3, N7 Month 2019, N7 month, Shenko - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-16
Updated: 2019-11-16
Packaged: 2021-02-07 11:50:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,591
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21457597
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soldiermom1973/pseuds/soldiermom1973
Summary: Allie stops by the hospital to see how Kaidan is doing.
Relationships: Kaidan Alenko/Allie Shepard, Kaidan Alenko/Female Shepard
Series: 1,000 years (A Reconciliation Story) [16]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1460416
Kudos: 7





	Hope

**Author's Note:**

> For [N7 Month](https://n7month.tumblr.com/post/188450175349/n7-month-challenge) over on tumblr, the prompt was hope, so naturally I had to write some Allie & Kaidan.

Allie's heart hammered in her chest as she raced through the Citadel to get to the hospital, carefully cradling a bottle of what she hoped was still Kaidan's favorite whiskey. Kaidan's message that he was awake and wanted to see her set her spirits flying. She knew there was a possibility of him telling her to shove off, that he still didn't trust her, especially after the way he talked to her on Mars, but after watching him almost die... it didn't matter what he had to say. She _needed_ to see him, to make sure for herself that he was ok.

She walked in as Councilor Udina was walking out and wondered if they'd been talking about Kaidan's Spectre candidacy. A smile spread across her face at the thought of Kaidan becoming the second human Spectre. If anyone deserved it, he did. He might not have an Elysium in his file, but he'd done his fair share of heroic stuff and with his integrity, she knew he'd never turn rogue like Saren did.

“Hey,” she smiled, pulling a chair next to his bed. A rock settled in her gut when she took a good look at him – his eyes were both bruised and a little swollen and his chest and shoulders were heavily bruised as well. She shouldn't have been surprised at the latter part – Dr. Michel said his shoulder blades had been fractured – but the fact he was sporting two black eyes worried her. She hoped her concern didn't show on her face.

“Shepard, hey,” he smiled back, shifting around on his bed. “You just missed snack time. Actually, that's probably a good thing. Thanks for coming.”

She chuckled, knowing if he was joking around, he was probably feeling better. “No problem,” she said, sitting down and putting the bottle on the floor next to her. “What did Udina want? Still thinking about the Spectre position?”

Kaidan's face flushed at the recognition and a shy smile flitted across his face. “Well, it's a big honor, a huge responsibility, I just... need to be sure.”

Allie grabbed the bottle of whiskey from the floor and handed it to him. “I got you this.”

“Wow, thanks!” he said, taking it from her. “You even remembered what kind I like!”

“Just a little pick me up,” she grinned, happy she got the right one.

“Maybe when I'm out, we can crack it open and celebrate. I am so ready to get out of here.” He shifted again, making Allie wonder if his back was bothering him. “You can't tell, but I'm tied to the bed by medical red tape. I mean, doc says I'm good to go, but then she always finds just one more test to run.”

“You doing ok, though?” Allie couldn't believe he was awake and talking to her so soon after getting slammed against that Cerberus shuttle.

“Well, my implant got a little rattled,” Kaidan explained, “so doc just wants me to keep the biotics offline for a bit. It's really no big deal.”

Allie studied him for a moment, making sure he wasn't just saying something to keep her from worrying. She smiled then and asked if he wanted her to break him out.

“I'll let you know,” he laughed.

Allie stared at him for a few more moments, still relieved beyond belief he was ok. “I'm glad you asked me to come,” she finally said. It's good to see you're going to be ok. You almost died on my watch, Kaidan. It was really horrible to see and...” She reached for his hand, thankful he didn't pull away. “I care about what happens to you.”

“Me, too. That means a lot, Allie.”

He ran his thumb over her knuckles and took a deep breath. “So, just to make sure... after Mars, after Horizon, you and me... we're good?” Allie's heart leapt at the concern in his voice.

“We've been through hell together,” she reminded him. “Had each other's backs. That kind of bond is hard to break.”

“No,” Kaidan sighed, “not just that. You were my commander, sure, but you _listened_, too. I mean, when I told you about how Rahna broke my heart, you didn't judge me. You knew I needed that.”

He sighed again and stared at their hands. “We went through Ash's death together...”

“Yeah,” Allie murmured, “we did.”

“So, what do you say?” Kaidan sounded optimistic “Are we good?”

“Yeah, we're good,” Allie smiled, even though she wasn't entirely sure _she_ was good. His doubt on Horizon and again on Mars was a little much for her to overcome right now. But they had to start again somewhere, right? “It was great to have you back on board the Normandy,” she added.

“Thanks,” he smiled. “I'm really glad you came by. Talking like this, reminds me how much I like you.”

Allie's heart ached at his choice of words, but she reminded herself that she was gone for two years and he tried to move on; that didn't necessarily mean he couldn't love her again. She squeezed his hand and hoped her trembling jaw wasn't as noticeable as it felt.

“We're good together,” he added, glancing up at her and her heart melted. He might not be in love with her anymore, but she knew damn well she was still in love with him.

“So, feel like we've cleared the air?” She felt a little better, that maybe they might find their way back to each other after all, but she still wasn't sure. Allie missed him desperately and she hoped they could continue to talk, that maybe she could persuade him to stay on the Normandy with her.

“Yeah,” came the determined response. “I'm not sure I was wrong about Cerberus, but I know I was wrong about you.”

Her smile felt a little more genuine after that and they chatted a bit more. He told her about a biotics spec ops division Anderson persuaded him to take over and how desperate he was go get better and get back into the thick of things. She asked about his family and her heart sank when Kaidan admitted his parents live in Vancouver. “I just hope Dad's Alliance training took over and they're safe. It must be killing them, not knowing where I am,” he murmured.

Allie gave his hand a gentle squeeze. “Is there anything I can do? Maybe have EDI try to reach them?”

“I'd appreciate that, Allie,” he said, “but I'll be surprised if comms and phone lines are still working. If they are, they're probably for priority traffic only. Thanks for the offer, though.”

There was an awkward pause and Allie's thoughts turned back to Horizon and Mars and how Kaidan didn't seem to really trust her anymore. He said he was wrong about her, a sort of back-handed apology, maybe, but that didn't do much to make Allie feel like he trusted her like he used to. He must have picked up on her worry, because he asked what was on her mind.

“Are we really going to be able to get past Horizon?” she asked quietly. “Just like that?”

“I'd like to, Allie. As friends... as more than friends. I mean, I don't know,” He stared at their clasped hands as he spoke. “I just like having you in my life.” 

So maybe if they could only be friends, she could learn to be ok with that. “So, how do we fix it?” Allie wanted to hear him say he trusted her, that he realized she hadn't changed and she didn't have to do anything more.

He laced his fingers with hers and said, “Maybe you should know that I'm not seeing anyone... and that I still care.”

Her breath caught when she realized they might still have a chance. She pressed her lips together and stared at their hands as he continued. “I mean, there's a war on and maybe you and me... maybe we'll never happen, but I needed you to know that because that's how we'll get past Horizon.”

Allie nodded and an odd feeling filled her heart - _hope_ Something she hadn't felt for a long time; not about her and Kaidan, anyway.

They were silent for a few more moments before Kaidan offered to let her go. “I'm sure you'll have more things to do than any one person should have to handle. I wish I could come with you, though.”

“You just stay here and worry about getting better. We need you at 100%.” Allie stood and smoothed out her shirt. “You know where to find me, though, so keep me posted, ok?”

“Will do, Commander.” Kaidan smiled at her, a _real_ smile that crinkled the corners of his eyes.

Allie couldn't help herself – she leaned over and kissed his cheek. “Take care of yourself, Major,” she whispered in his ear. She hurried out of his room before he could respond, wanting to make sure the last thing she saw was that heart-melting smile of his.

Once she got on the elevator and the doors closed, she crossed her arms over her stomach, replaying their conversation in her head. He might still have a few doubts about her loyalty, but she was certain as she continued to fight the Reapers, she'd be able to show him that she hadn't changed – she was still the same woman he fell in love with three years prior.

Allie hurried back to the Normandy with hope in her heart and a smile on her face.


End file.
